I want to say how much I appreciate all the support you folks in Blogland are showering on me as I set out on this journey. You've been so kind to me, and some of you have shared how adoption has touched your lives as well. Adoption is really about love and how it grows in a family however that family is put together. Hallie told me that I would find that the blogging community is a safe and supportive place, and she was right (yes, Hallie, I just admitted you were right - don't get used to it!)
As I was writing yesterday's post about the non-identifying information I received from the adoption agency, I began to think about something that happened a lot when I was a child.
My mom had lovely eyes. They were light colored, kind of greenish blue, and one of her best features. When I was growing up, people would sometimes remark that I had her eyes. Mine are more truly blue than hers were, but a lot of times people would point out how similar they were to hers.
We didn't tell everyone that I was adopted; close friends and family knew, and it was never kept a secret, but we didn't bring it up to casual acquaintences unless the conversation led there. When someone would say that I had mom's eyes, she and I would share a secret smile. She would say, "yes, she does." In those moments, I could so clearly feel the love between us. It was as if only she and I knew that while I didn't get her eyes genetically, I was so much her daughter that the resemblance was unmistakable just the same.
When I got the report about my biological mother, and I read that her eyes were blue, my first reaction was "just like mine." But then I thought again. No, not just like mine. My eyes are like my mom's. I may have gotten the color from my bio mother, but everything I see is through the eyes of my mom, whose love enabled me to be the person I am.
I love you, mom, and I miss you every day.
When She's Good, I Seem Crazy
17 hours ago