Sunday, May 10, 2009

To My Two Mothers

This Mother’s Day feels a little different to me than those that have come before. For the first 40 years of my life, I had a mom to honor on this day. My gifts to her in my early years ranged from macaroni art and painted clay jewelry boxes to coupons for ‘free from whining’ chores. I’m proud to say that I matured and that my gifts improved over the years. The last few years of her life (those spent in the nursing home), her favorite gift was a visit from her grandsons on this day. Since she’s been gone, I make the 1 ½ hour drive to her grave sometime between Mother’s Day and Memorial Day, just to make sure it looks tidy and has some nice flowers. I’m not one of those people who can feel the presence of their loved one at the grave, but I know my mom would want it to look presentable, and that’s why I do it.

Anyway, this year, for the first time, I have another mother to consider. I mean, I have always known that I had a birth mother out there somewhere, and I’ve thought about her, especially on days like Mother’s Day and my birthday, but she was just an idea in my head. Now, she’s real. I know her name and her address. I’ve seen her picture. I had hoped to meet her by now, but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards, at least not now. So, since I have no one to honor in person this year, I offer this letter to my two mothers.

To My Mom: I want to thank you for the faith that brought you to St. Andre’s so many years ago, trusting that God had chosen you to be my mother. Thanks for teaching me that family is about love and not about blood. Thank you for celebrating not only my birthday, but the day you adopted me – and for telling me it was because on that day, you felt joy because your family was complete. Thanks for all the other things you taught me, about the value of being a lifelong learner, about music, and doing the right thing. Thank you for raising me in a home filled with love and laughter. I love you and miss you more than I can say.

To My Birthmother: Thank you for choosing life. Thank you for nurturing me within your body, especially during what must have been a very complicated time for you. Thank you for finding your way to St. Andre’s, and for making what must have been an incredibly difficult choice to give me a chance at a better life. Whatever your reasons for surrendering me, it was the first step that helped me find my way to my forever family. Whether or not you ever decide to meet me, I will always be grateful to you for my life.

Happy Mother’s Day to both of you.

With all my love,

Mary Ellen/ Marjorie

21 comments:

Midwest Mommy said...

Beautiful letters.
Happy Mother's Day!

Lori Skoog said...

ME...your letters are very touching. I hope your birth Mom will contact you one of these days. Does she live anywhere near you?

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by.

claudia said...

I hope that your birthmother can read this letter to her on your post. She would have to respond to a heartfelt message like that!
Happy Mother's Day to you!

Under the Influence said...

Happy Mother's Day! To you and both of your moms.

Eternal Lizdom said...

Wonderfully stated... I'm sure you are in both of their hearts today- even if one isn't willing to admit it yet.

Lynn said...

Wonderful and inspiring tributes to your 2 Moms. They both should be very proud about the woman you have become...

Happy Mothers Day,
Love,
Lynn

Elenka said...

sob sob sniff
I hope both moms can see these letters...you're a wonderful daughter.
Happy Mom's day.

Reddirt Woman said...

ME, Happy Mother's Day to you. I hope your boys make this day very special for you.

The letters to both your moms were beautiful. I keep praying that your birth mom will come around. She is missing someone very special.

Helen

Staci said...

Happy Mom's Day! I'm touched by both your letters and the thoughts that went into them.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

this is the holiday I have the most trouble with... because if the jealousy of my A mom the rejection of my B mom the differences of the step mom and ex step mom and my cousin *mom* who raised me through the teen years OMG she was so brave, so it becomes a holiday I tend to ignore...my kids call or do something cute for me and I wish others Happy mothers day... but other than that I tend to ignore the day all together... at one time I tried to do for all the moms in my life and I could not afford it... and anyway great post well written and maybe your b mom will read it ... I can hopeya know.
Love ya heaps and Happy mothers day to you!

Joanie M said...

Happy Mother's Day to you and your moms!

By the way, I received my package in yesterday's mail! Thank you! Not sure if I can say what it is yet, until I know for sure the other person received hers/his.

Joanie M said...

OOPS!!! I hit send before saying THANK YOU!!!! I love them!

Alice said...

Beautiful. And what a wonderful tribute to two mothers....I hope that you get the chance to meet your birthmom one day, so you can tell her to her face. But either way...you were blessed to have two women who considered you above their own needs.

I hope you, too, had a terrific mother's day with your sons.

Becca said...

that was lovely

Hannah said...

To all the moms out here belated Happy Mothers day.

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Lovely post.

Barb said...

I loved this post. I can hear your pain with regard to both losses but love the grace with which you are handling everything. You're an inspiration, M.E. Happy Mother's Day!

AirmanMom said...

me...this is a beautiful post. It shows the beauty of your heart.
Happy Mother's Day!
~AM

Vegas Princess said...

This post is so beautiful and shows just what an incredible person you are. Happy Mother's Day ME! :)

Tonjia said...

I only wish that your birth mother would read this and want to meet you.

I know your mom is watching over you and smiling, what an amazing woman she raised...

Abby Reed said...

Hugs hugs hugs. And love to you.