Tonight's one of my rare Girls Night Out events. Once every other month or so, I try to get together with two of my best friends from college. Lately we've tried really hard to actually do it, and not let it get pushed aside, which is what used to happen a lot.
Even though we usually just go out to dinner and talk, I find these evenings incredibly restorative. There's something about spending time with people who have known you for 30 years that's so freeing - after all, these people already know all your embarassing secrets. I'm really looking forward to it.
As I was thinking about the subject of friends, I realized that I'm lucky to have quite a few of them. They're all unique, and my relationship with each of them is different, but each plays an important part in my life and would leave a terrible chasm if they were gone. I've been especially blessed to find some new friends out here in the Blogosphere. I treasure my friends, and I don't think I tell them that often enough.
Which brings me to the story that I want to tell you. My friend Jocelyn recently said to me, "why don't you talk about me on your blog?" I explained to her that I usually only talk about people when they participate in or achieve an noteworthy event, so if she were to do something interesting, I would talk about her. (It's okay to talk to her like this - she likes my sarcasm. No, really, she does.)
I've known Jocelyn for over 10 years. We met when my family did a dogsledding demonstration for some high school age girl scouts. Jocelyn was around 16 at the time, and she fell in love with dogsledding. She volunteered to help us train the dogs, and soon became the best helper we'd ever had. Quickly she morphed into one of the family. She not only helped with the dogs, she helped me hundreds of times with other things - picking up the kids after school, or dropping them at their soccer practice, rescuing me when my car broke down. I've known her through a bunch of big changes in her life - high school, college, big-time scientific job, buying a house (only a mile away from me- YAY!) and now, planning a move (10 miles away from me - BOO!). Jocelyn even lets me bake stuff over at her house when my oven's broken. I'm old enough to be her mother, and she can cause me to have one of those 'lump-in-the-throat, my-little-girl-is-all-grown-up-now' moments. She's one of my favorite people, and even though I don't see her as much as I used to, I love her madly.
Anyway, we were talking on the phone yesterday, and she told me something that really made me laugh, and is totally blog-worthy. Evidently someone hacked her debit card number and used it to purchase some stuff. Now, I've heard of people having their stolen credit cards used for overseas phone calls, massive electronics or phone-sex calls, but not this time. Jocelyn's thief used her card to buy flowers (a big bunch, evidently for $180) and join a Christian Singles dating site.
Okay, am I the only one that finds it HYSTERICAL that somebody used a stolen credit card to join a dating site for CHRISTIANS???? Hell, party of one!
Jocelyn told me on the phone that when she called the companies to ask that the charges be removed, one of them mentioned the email address of the person who purchased the items. Unfortunately, she didn't write it down, but oh, the possibilities if she had. Jocelyn and I brainstormed some fun ideas of how we could torture the perpetrator. My favorite ideas involved signing up for fake email addresses and bombarding her with spam.
From: GOD1111@ yahoo.com
To: Thief
Subject: You're a sinner
What do you think you're doing, using stolen money to participate in Christian dating? If you should ever meet someone, you will turn to a pillar of salt.
From: SATAN666@ hotmail.com
To: Miss Understood
Subject: Your reservation
Confirming your reservation for a premium room in the Hell Hotel. Lava flow views and 24 hour access to burning and wailing.
Couldn't we have some fun with this? I know I have some pretty creative readers, so let me know what you think.
Don't forget, keep track of your credit and debit cards, and I hope you all have a Jocelyn in your life.!
A Man On The Inside
19 hours ago
24 comments:
Girls Nights are AWESOME :)
I don't have a Jocelyn in my life -
I have something even better....
I have a MARY ELLEN! The one, the only, the original.
I am also glad that we are finally putting ourselves first at least once in a while and getting together. It restores my soul also.
My only disappointment in our longterm friendship is that we all had boys. We can't marry off our kids and be related. How rude.
To your blogging friends, I have stories about the wild and crazy ME in college. I can be bribed. :)
That is the most hysterical and ironic thing I have heard in quite awhile! I hope the dude who did that knows he'll never be able to have a good relationship with the guilt of that hanging over his head! I mean, that's not what the ten commandments are supposed to be teaching!
This is the 2nd blog I've read today that gave me pangs of ENVY!
Two of my best buddies are too far away (and have never met, although I know they'd love each other) to have a "GNO" with, but I think of them often. And every time we talk, I tell them I love them before we hang up.
Have a great time with those beloved girlfriends.
p.s. I joined FaceBook and a book club just this week, so life is good... (BTW, did you see my list yesterday?)
OMG, I would try and get that person's email address. That could be tons of fun!
No, I don't have any ideas, i'll leave that up to you...I KNOW you're good at this!
Girls nights are fun. Identity theft is not. That's why I avoid posting personal info on my blog.
Oh, the fun one could have with this poor misguided jesus freak. I'm salivating, MET.
Like, is it a hotmail account, you know, to add to the irony?
What kind of flowers? Angel's Trumpets (also called Devil's horn for their poison)?
Does he realize that christian dating web sites lead to online gambling, and then dancing, and then OMG! - HEAVY PETTING IN HIS MOTHER'S BASEMENT (where he lives)?!?!
Does he have three numbers mysteriously tattooed to his scalp?
Did he take her out to eat at a restaurant called Serpent in the Garden?
And did they eat forbidden fruit salad?
Did he take her back to his mother's basement and play rock n roll records backwards for her?
Did he go to church the next Sunday, and if so, is he selling the photographs of the scars the lightening made?
and on...
and on...
and on...
call back and GET that email!!!!
love the ideas you have there!
Last time I went on a supposed Girls night out, only two of us showed up and we sat and watched a movie and then just went home...I haven't done one since !
I saw a movie once where a woman's identity was taken and her life was ruined but she found out on her own who it was and gave her back worse than what she got...it was awful ! Probably, if you tried revenge as you described, that person would get you back even worse...to me, not worth what it might cost YOU in the end ! ( sinking to the same level as who did you wrong )
And be patient, what goes around comes around...LOL
Perfect! I wish you had that address.
I think you could have named this post, "Isn't it Ironic?" also. Girls do want to have fun, but evidently Christian girls want to have MORE fun! Yikes.
Some of these comments, lol!
Hilarious! The person who stole my identity and used my 'card' only ordered pizzas and bought some groceries. How boring.
I'd get that email address and post it!
OMG! Those emails made me laugh outloud in my office! How weird someone would steal a debit card for that!!
And your last blog about your kitties...totally put a lump in my throat!
Ha, that's awesome.
(And I completely agree with Ed, whatever he said ion Korean!!!)
this will keep me going all day long...thanks M.E. and thanks AST, you are a hoot!
I miss my girlfriends from Texas. But I have met a few new friends here in New York. Not a Jocelyn, yet, though.
AST made me laugh out loud!
What a terrific idea; loved this :) I'm sure Jacelyn is as blessed to have you as you are to have her.
OMG! Seriously?
Sorry her card number got stolen, but it is hilarious what they did with it. I too would have called back and got the email and sent them something crazy.
To: FakingLovingGod@hotmail.com
Subject: Smote Thee Money Stealer
Do you really think buying flowers for your new Christian girlfriend would save you from the firy pits of hell? Hath you not read thy Commandments?
That is hilarious! The emails from God and Satan.
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