Friday, August 14, 2009

Friday Fragments - The Mojito Edition


Time for Friday Fragments, the place to share all those odd thoughts - you know the ones - that are just too random to be a post of their own. Summer is the perfect time to be random, so if you'd like to learn from the master, check out Mrs. 4444 over at Half Past Kissin' Time. She is the one who started this fiesta, and she's still hosting us fragmenters every week. She picked my friend Andrew from A Long Patience as Favorite Fragmenter this week - yeah! And then she picked my friend Hallie from Wonderful World of Wieners for honorable mention. I'm so happy, I hardly noticed that she didn't pick me for anything... Oh well, go check them all out. Very funny stuff.
* This past week or two has been bad for cell phones in our neighborhood. First, I dropped my cell phone into a steaming hot, very full cup of coffee. Decaf. With cream, no sugar. I grabbed it out, but coffee had permeated every orifice. I took it apart, cleaned it, and air-dried it. And waited. After 24 hours, I put it back together, charged it, crossed my fingers and called someone. The good news? I could hear people fine. The bad news? They couldn’t hear me at all. I repeated the cleaning/drying process, and to my delight, it’s working fine now. There’s a bit of a murkiness around one edge of the screen (the cream, I’m guessing) but I can live with that. The day after I got mine fixed, the meter reader for the power company ran over his cell phone in my driveway. Ooops. And then, a couple of days after that, a friend of mine who was visiting dropped her cell in the lake. I think it’s Mother Nature telling us to drop the technology and enjoy what little summer we get.

* I must be getting old. For a bunch of reasons, and not just because I’m beginning the transition from tampons to bladder-control pads, either. When I was at the movies, watching the Ugly Truth and thinking murderous thoughts about the teenagers and their mid-movie texting, I kept wondering if some of them were old enough to be hearing some of the R-rated dialogue. Which is ridiculous, since I know my kids learned more on the bus in third grade than I knew when I graduated from high school. (“Mommy, what kind of a job is a blowjob?”)

* I am sick to death of not having a working oven in this house. I don’t bake a lot in the summer, but it’s nice to have the option. I have to bring all the snacks to my stamping club meeting tonight, and trying to come up with something good that doesn’t require baking is not that easy. Especially since the other women keep trying to outdo each other in fancy-ness. I can’t just show up with chips, dip and a bag of cookies from the store. Any ideas? Quick, because I have to be there at 6:30.

* Am I the only one who thinks the television talks to me directly? I swear, since I became really, really panicked about not having enough money to pay essential bills, and since I started thinking I might not ever have a job, I think all the tv shows are talking to me. “If you lose your job, we’ll make your payments. Too bad you weren’t smart enough to buy one of our cars before you got laid off.” “A recent study shows that people who are still unemployed after one year have the same chance of finding a job as getting hit by lightning. In a related story, large numbers of unemployed people are reportedly standing out during a lightning storm holding a nine iron.”

* Starting this afternoon, and until Sunday afternoon, I am housesitting/dogsitting for a friend of mine. They have sled dogs, like us, but only 10 or 12, plus a couple of house dogs, so it should be pretty easy. Food and water a couple of times a day, and let the house dogs out to potty every so often. Other than that, I think I’m free to sit by (or in) their gorgeous inground pool with the Tiki bar, outdoor fireplace and cool torch lighting. The weather is supposed to be hot and FABULOUS the whole time. I wish you could all come, too. I’d make you a kick-ass mojito.

21 comments:

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

You are welcome to use my overn anytime you want.

You are also welcome to make me a Mojito anytime you want.

You are also welcome to borrow tampons and/or pads anytime...oh wait, I don't need either of those things!! Have I mentioned today that I LOVED MY HYSTERECTOMY!!

Hallie :)

Call me at home if you want to chat. I'm all alone!! Well, Connor's here but same thing!

Evansmom said...

Peanut Scotch Crisps do not require an oven. One of my personal favorites! I made it for a meeting and got so many requests, I had to publish the recipe in the newsletter.

c3 said...

Asparagus roll-ups. Ham (turkey, whatever), a smear of cream cheese (or other soft, spreadable cheese), a spear of asparagus (or scallion, or green bean, or whatever). Lay them down in that order, then roll the ham around the spear. Yummy!

♥georgie♥ said...

I just read this...fill a ziplock baggie with rice then place your phone in the baggie I forget how long BUT it is suppose to suck all the moisture out of your phone...

My TV talks to me all the time...my husband banned me from QVC...lol

really enjoyed your FF

Becca said...

Ha, the blowjob line made me spit my coffee

and I am thinking, you may have to seriously look into creating your own job, freelance.ghost writing, editing, proofreading,PR and marketing copy writing...there's a college near you right? students need those services. you can get grants to help with business start-up...

AirmanMom said...

You do such a great job on these FF's...you are so random! Love it!
~AM

Odette said...

My Mom always gets some Brie and a jar of Sun-dried Tomatoes and pours some of the sun-dried tomatoes over the brie and crushes some garlic over it and microwaves it and Voila! Baked brie with Sun-dried tomato. It looks and tastes fancy, but it's not. Serve it with crackers or bread and you're good to go. Also it's better to microwave it right before so that it's warm and gooey.

Oh and yes the TV talks to me too. :(

jojo said...

always love the friday frags...you crack me up all the time..I mean really.
Sorry I can't help with the oven, tampons, or bjob but I have some bladder control issues of my own and I could share that??? Just sayin'. Enjoy the dogs sittin' and the pool..mojitos, yum.

Kori said...

I don't know what a mojito is but since everyone else wants one, I'm in.

Bah, baking is overrated. And all those women trying to outdo each other? Would probably DIE for chips and dip. : )

Sara Elizabeth Bonds said...

What kind of a job is a blowjob?????? LOL!!!!!!!!! That is hilarious! I almost peed a little after reading that.

I have never had a mojito. I am sure they are good, but there is something about mint that throws me off. haha

Happy FF! Mine is up too. :o)
www.OrdinaryandAwesome.com

Caution Flag said...

I'm afraid to touch my cell after reading this post. What if the bad luck continues right through the internet??

Did you say they have only 10-12 dogs? ONLY?? How many do you have?

Andrew Scott Turner said...

We called each other dildos for a long time until a much wiser friend clued us in.

Then it took on a much more hilarious meaning...

Sue said...

Count me in for a few mojitos! I am happy that you finally get to enjoy the inground pool!!! Didn't they blow you off last time? Oh and if your phone lands in coffee again, put it in rice. The rice sucks up the moisture I guess. Happy pooling!!!!

claudia said...

Kids...they all know more than we thought we knew! Earlier and earlier in age too!
I loved that blow job question!
The TV talks to me too. I ignore it a lot though. Thank goodness or I really would be broke.
Don't feel bad about getting the essential bills paid. I work full time, I barely get the bills paid ever. I am just getting caught up after my winter gas and electric bill. AND. I'M. WORKING. FULL. TIME! No kidding.
Yes, bladder control pads...need them, but just for the bladder control problem.
I'd love to come and share mojitos with you, and maybe just a quick dip in that pool!

Mrs4444 said...

OMG-Tampons to bladder control pads? That one's definitely in the running this week, M.

I like your take on the cellphone tragedies this week-I'm sure you're right!

Guacamole is always nice, though I'm guessing you'll have to come up with that one at a future gathering...

Enjoy lounging this weekend!!

P.S. Thanks for your sweet, sweet comment today :) I love you, too. I wish Maine wasn't so danged far away!

Eternal Lizdom said...

Mojito? Where? Hopefully the vodka variety is available (I soooo can't do rum- a tragedy, I know).

I sat down to read your fragments and your first one reminded me that I hadn't started my coffee pot!! You just totally saved me!!

American in Norway said...

Oops...to late for any suggestions for the stamp club... Lucky duck with the.. pool--.- weather is CRAP here... Rain rain & more rain... Welcome to Norway

Elenka said...

ONLY 10-12 dogs!#$% Plus some house dogs?#(
Good God.
Then there's the pool part..... ahhhh
I suppose I'd sit for some aardvarks if there was a pool. Enjoy!

Scriptor Senex said...

It's raining in the UK as well - enjoy the doggy sitting!

Vegas Princess said...

Ah, what I learned on the school bus. Fond memories. :)

knittergran said...

Your Friday Fragments are great! I come up with ideas for them, but always forget them by Friday. I need to become good at note-taking.
And goodness, you have a LOT of dogs! I have too much trouble with one cat these days. (Are there bladder-control problem products for cats???)