Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I quit...you win

Dear Mr. Virus:

Okay, I get it. You win. You are the MAN. You are all-powerful.

I am but a weak and pathetic loser. I am completely incapable of fighting you off.

You are impervious to any combination of drugs available over the counter.

I will not attempt to battle with you any more. I will just lie here (or, actually, sit here, since lying down makes me cough and choke) and wait for you to go away. I will keep trying to breathe, since you make my asthma really bad, and pray that you do not turn into pneumonia, like you did last time.

If you could please think about starting to move out soon, I would really appreciate it. Pack your bag, call a cab - something - because you depress me. And I really don't need that right now.

In the meantime, I salute you. You kicked my ass.

24 comments:

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

You're letting a littel virus kick your ass? Where's that fighting spirit I've come to know and love?

What the hell's wrong with you woman???


FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

(if it will help, I'll dig out my cheerleading uniform from High School and runthrough a few cheers for you)

S-U-C-C-E-S-S....that's the way we spell SUCCESS!! V-I-C-T-O-R-Y..victory, victory that's our cry!

That was just a small taste to wet your whistle!!

katy said...

I know a lot of people that swear by mucinex to keep things from setttling in your lungs....good luck and feel better.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

was gonna say the same thing as Katy... mucinex dm ... thats what the dr's here tell everyone and I gave mike some last night it seemed to help him. I hate winter coughs colds blocked heads agggggg just hate it all!
Hope you feel better soon...
and get some chicken noodle soup post haste it cures EVERYTHING :)

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Kick him in hi nether regions...

My Metabolic Rate is Stuck said...

You were (and still are) stressing yourself out way too much...take the Mucinex, and chicken soup...kick this ol man out THEN FOCUS on some new Hobby/something to get your mind off of everything else for awhile! You need to build your immune system back up and that is hard to do while stressing!! WE CARE ABOUT YOU!!!

claudia said...

I got a recipe from a co-worker, (and a bonus, she picked all the ingredients up for me) It helped me kick the ass of the last virus I had move in to me. It goes as follows. If you have a Mexican store somewhere in your area it would be easy to find this stuff there.
Put a half a box of raisins, a cinnamon stick, tsp of the ginger, a garlic clove, a half a handful of the dried Hibiscus flowers and a tamarind seed in a 2 quart pot of boiling water. Turn the stove off. Let it steep for about twenty minutes. Sweeten it anyway you like (honey suger, sugar substitute, and drink. Have two of these cups a day and after about two days you should be all cleared up. It worked really good on me!

Under the Influence said...

I hate being sick! I have no suggestions, except sleep it off. Any excuse to sleep is a good one, right?

Joanie said...

Do you have a recliner? I found that sleeping on a recliner helped with the coughing somewhat, since you don't lay flat. And listen to everyone... get Mucinex!

Boy Mom said...

Aww, poor thing, sorry you're sick.

ZICAM cough spray, it lets me lie down and sleep with out choking to death. I combine Mucinex, Sudaphed and an over the counter allergy pill plus pain reliever every 8 -12 hours.

I spent some fun minutes reading your blog this morning. Hope you're better soon.

Andrew Scott Turner said...

winter sucks

winter sucks

winter sucks

hi ME!

winter sucks

winter sucks

winter sucks

kim-d said...

Well, at least I can stop feeling guilty, that it's a virus trying to kill you and not me. Because, you know, it's all about me, even when it should be about ME...chuckle? bwa? no?

I tried to make you smile. :)

Reddirt Woman said...

If it will make you feel any better... I'm going to the post office today to get your earrings off to you. I wish I could send an instant remedy to you for your virus. You've gotten quite a few suggestions to try, however. My big thing is just leave me be and let me sleep or die, whichever comes first. That and home-made potato soup.

Helen

justlori2day said...

Feel better chica!

We are on round 2,365,867 of the stomach bug in our house. I am SURE that KimD gave it to me to pass on to my family back when it almost killed her in December (even though we went out in November).

Hopefully soon it will pass!

Lynn said...

Hope you are on the mend soon ! I had a bad one back in November...

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh they suck! Don't they?


I have to tell you I am on pins and needles waiting for a BM update. I am still praying.

jojo said...

you write a great letter...I hope Mr. Virus will take heart and listen....feel better soon or now...

Robin said...

i hate blogger. this is the second time i've tried to leave a comment only to have it disappear.

i also hate viruses and i'm sorry you have one. i was invaded at christmas and i still have the cough.

rest up and get well, then rest up some more.

and think of all the blogs you get read while resting!

Vegas Princess said...

Humidifiers and steam work wonders. Also hot showers usually get stuff loose for extraction. Gross, yes, but effective. I hope you fele better soon!

Tonjia said...

OMG you are in my head! I posted about quitting today too.

hey ME, feel better soon. drink lots of fluids. Mucinex is good, so is Delsym

Sue said...

Well I am sure that cheer from Hallie cheered you right up. If nothing you did could get that virus away, i am thinking that her cheering in her HS uniform might have scared it away!
Feel better!

Alice said...

Feel better soon!! PS--I loved your dog-sled racing post, I'm a little behind on catching up on blogs myself...but thanks for posting. I felt like I was at the race!!

Barb said...

Nothing worse than a big virus in the winter that seems to drag on and on. Sending you virtual chicken noodle soup.

Odette said...

OOhhh is like the mucus guy on the commercials? He's an a#$hole! I agree with Hallie KICK HIS LILY ASS!!!! Grrrrrrrrr :Z

American in Norway said...

Hope you feel better soon!