Saturday, January 31, 2009

Please, Mr. Postman

I must be the busiest unemployed person ever. For some reason, I've been rushing around for about two weeks straight, and have had hardly a minute to myself. I've been trying to keep up on all my must-read blogs, but I've only managed to blog twice (this will make three times) this week!

One thing I actually did accomplish this week: I got the letter written. The letter to my birth mother - or, to the person who I believe to be my birth mother. I wrote several drafts. Okay, who am I kidding? I wrote about a hundred drafts. I don't think I've ever edited something so much in my life, but I wanted it to say just the right thing.

It had to be non-confrontational. It had to be friendly, but not too friendly. Appreciative and informative, but not creepy. Heartfelt but not maudlin. It had to give her the facts about how I came to believe she is my birth mother without calling her a liar. It had to make her want to tell me the truth.

Do I have high hopes for the letter? God help me, but yes, I do. I know there's a good chance she'll not reply. Or she may answer, only to deny it again. I guess there's an outside chance that it really isn't her, but I don't believe that.

Still, I want it to work. I want it so much it hurts. I want her to call me, or write to me, and give me the answers I've been seeking for such a long time. And, if I let myself be honest, I want her to want me in her life. Somehow. Some way. Any way.

It's a lot of pressure to put on a letter. Is it up to it? Who knows? It's out of my hands now, literally. My postal carrier picked it up around 10:30 this morning. I sat at my dining room table and watched as she took the letter out of my mailbox and tossed it into the plastic bin with all the other bills and birthday cards and no-postage-required envelopes.

Now, there's nothing to do but wait. And pray.

28 comments:

Midwest Mommy said...

I am thinking of you and hoping it all works out.

AirmanMom said...

ME...I am your prayer warrior!

~AM

Scriptor Senex said...

Fingers crossed.

Lynn said...

Are you really sure this woman actually is you birth Mom ? I still say have a Private Eye check it out before you do anything else. I'm worried you will be let down if it's the wrong person !

kim-d said...

OMG, OMG, OMG. You sent it. Good for you. One more step you can check off. As I am so fond of saying, remember tha this is just the beginning...

And also remember that I will be praying really, really hard for you on this.

Lynn said...

Mary Ellen,
Glad you're pretty sure about your search results... I guess I must have missed a couple of posts...just worried you will be hurt by all that stuff...I will pray that her heart will be softened and she will be open to your reaching out to her !

Love and Prayers,
Lynn

Thankful Paul said...

Hello! :)

Liz said...

Good for you! I'll pray for you... and for the recipient of your letter.

gin said...

You must be on pins & needles. I'm praying for you. On another note, congratulations on the race win. It sounded so exciting.

Vegas Princess said...

I am so proud of you! I will be praying that you get a positive response because you deserve some closure (so to speak) with all of this. And hopefully this woman will recognize that and respect your very simple wishes.

These past two weeks your blog was one of the ones I have missed the most. I have been thinking of you while in my Internet sabbatical and hoping you were doing okay. :)

Reddirt Woman said...

M.E., What you did took a lot of intestinal fortitude. You have my whole-hearted admiration. I can't imagine the toll this has taken on you, but you have captured a whole bunch of us with your journey. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I know it will help me if and when the time comes that my great-niece comes looking for her birth mother or her birth mother's family.

May angels guide your journey and also your birth mother's heart.

Helen

Odette said...

Ahhh sooo exciting! Good luck. Take good care of yourself! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Elizabeth said...

I'm sure you must be terribly anxious and concerned right now.
I do hope it works out and your birthmother feels able to contact you.
I think some were so upset by the whole thing that it's hard to respond at first.
I never met my birthmother and miss her to this day.
Even wrote a novel about it. Hm...

Laura ~Peach~ said...

OHHHHHHH I so know the feeling....HUGSSSSSSSSSSS

claudia said...

I hope and pray for you that this letter will soften her heart up a bit or open her eyes a bit, or let her know a bit that you mean no harm. That you only want what is best for both of you, and that she writes back.
I am excited for youthat this happens in the best way possible!

Mrs4444 said...

I'll pray that she does something, and that the time flies in the meantime. That said, don't put this on a timeline, if you can help it. Remember that she's had less time to digest this than you have. Good luck!

Sue said...

Ohhh, to be a fly on the wall (or a fly on the letter). Hang in there, keep yourself busy this week! She doesn't know what she is missing out on!

justlori2day said...

I am so very proud of you!

Fingers and toes crossed that something (besides your letter) comes back to you soon!

Chin up!

justlori2day said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Just Joni said...

May the best outcome surface from your efforts...keeping you in thought and prayer as you wait...

for a different kind of girl said...

I'll be tossing some prayers up for you, too, and hope that whatever happens or whatever you hear back, it opens up good things.

Joanie said...

I hope something good comes of this letter, Mary Ellen! Good luck!

jojo said...

Prayer soming your way...

Merrily Down the Stream said...

And we are right there with you.
{{hugs}}

Reddirt Woman said...

Hope all is going well for you today. If you will send me an address, I'll send your earrings...

Helen

Becca said...

oooh, hugh anxious sigh here. when you're ready i'd love to read the letter, and I ma sure others would too

American in Norway said...

Praying for you! I really hope you get what you want.

Shellie said...

Ayayay! Nail biter! I hope and pray it works. She would be missing out on so much too if she doesn't take the bite.