I don't think I can stand it one more minute. I'm at the end of my rope, on my last nerve, and at the edge, ready to jump. I want to kill somebody. Or at least to maim somebody. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, stamp my feet and break something.
What has driven me to this point? The weather. Rain, to be specific. It is STILL RAINING. The weather guy says it has rained 16 out of the last 18 days. I think he's lying. I don't remember any un-rainy days.
I was planning to write a fun post today, but I can't think of anything funny. Rain has permeated my house, my life, my body and my brain. It's like a headache; you know how, when you have a really bad headache, nothing else matters? You can't think about anything else, no matter how hard you try? Well, this is how I feel about the rain.
I'm watching my tomato plants literally rot and die. I'm dealing with a leaky roof and a flooded basement. I'm powerless to stop the dogs from turning the kennel into a mud pit. In my head it's becoming symbolic of my overall disastrous life, and that's the part that scares me.
I know there are worse problems in the world - heck, I have worse problems, myself - but my soul needs some sun. Yesterday I could barely force myself to get out of bed, and today I'm on the couch with a blanket (is this progress?) in my dark, un-sunlit living room.
I did make a decision though, while I was typing this. I need to do something. Somewhere that the sun or rain doesn't matter. Something to take my mind off everything.
This girl? Needs a movie. And not from Netflix, either. I need a real movie-theater movie. A chick flick with a guaranteed honest-to-goodness, don't-care-if-it's-realistic, happy ending. Something completely unlike my life, in other words. Any suggestions? I wonder if there is such a film playing at the local theater. If there is, I'm there. It might get me through the day.
And tomorrow? They said the sun might show its face, but even if it doesn't, I have the show to look forward to, and that will make all the difference. There's no weather that can distract me from my gloriously hectic backstage spot - because, even though it's as hot as the fourth circle of hell, I still love it. And it doesn't rain there, even when the humidity approaches 100%. Actors and stage lights and audiences trump Mother Nature every time.
Birthday Wisdom from My Mom, Elsie
12 hours ago