Monday, December 29, 2008

A little off my game

It was bound to happen, but that doesn't make it any more fun. I am incredibly out-of-sorts. I'm cranky and jumpy and nervous. And not much of a delight to be around, I fear.

I'm not entirely sure why. It could be the after-Christmas letdown. Or the fact that I haven't been sleeping for the last several days. Or my menapausal hormones. Or the headaches and stomach aches I seem to get every single day.

BUT, there's a good chance it has something to do with Friday. It's only 4 days away now, and for some reason, I'm an emotional wreck.

When I'm with people, all I can think is "I need to be alone," and when I'm alone, all I can think is "I wish I had someone to distract me." I'm irritated by every little thing (the guy who's driving too slow in front of me, or the one driving too fast behind me). I can't stand my hair. I think the newscasters are more ridiculous than usual. I hate my refrigerator, my wardrobe and the way the cat keeps making a nest out of my favorite fleece jacket.

I have got to snap out of it, and soon, before these things start coming out of my mouth instead of staying safely inside my brain.

Ah, who am I kidding? It's almost here - the day I feel like I've been waiting for all my life - and there's no chance I'm going to get any less emotional between now and then. I'm going to continue to alternate between excitement and dread. Everything around me is going to continue to get on my last nerve. My stomach will continue to ache. Until sometime Friday morning, when I finally get my turn, and they hand me that magic piece of paper.

Then I'll probably throw up.

18 comments:

Andrew Scott Turner said...

Okay, now for the advice that everyone will give you and will irritate the hell out of you because they are all cliches and therefore NEVER HELP:

1. Take a nice warm bath. For four days
2. Take a deep breath. For the next 96 hours
3. Count your blessings. In Dutch
4. Write a letter to yourself. With your non-writing hand
5. Listen to a CD of your favorite relaxing music. Backwards.
6. Go out for a nice romantic dinner with your husband. At the Wal-Mart Dunkin Donuts
7. Hug and kiss your two boys. In a crowded movie theatre.
8. Call your best friend. The worst swear words you know, but smile while you do it
9. Reflect on your deep abiding faith. In reality television (you think I don't know you?!?)
10. Buy a good book for 10 of your friends. Such as Surfacing, which you can find at barnesandnoble.com, amazon, or in India and Australia.


:-)


PS: Hang in there. You're almost THERE!!!!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I don't know what you're freaking out about....it's just a simple piece of paper!!

Spend the next 4 days doing things for me. I suspect lavishing me with attention will help pass the time nicely.

Btw, I thought cranky, jumpy and nervous were just normal for you? (who loves ya babe?)

Awesome article in Sunday's paper about THE DAY. Did you see it?

H

claudia said...

I like the advice of Andrew and Hallie...
Somehow, you sound a bit like me on my average day!
I know it's gotta suck, this waiting thing, and I know how jittery you have to be feeling.
It's all part of it. Once you get that piece of paper, you'll wonder why you had all these feelings!

AirmanMom said...

ME...one word...CHOCOLATE! yep, chocolate cake w/ chocolate icing and a HUGE scoop of godiva chocolate ice cream on top. A side of chocolate fudge brownies with a hot cup of cocoa. For dessert some decadent chocolate mousse with half a can of chocoloate redi-whip piled on top. Sure-Cure!

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

Mrs4444 said...

It sounds like it's probably a combination of all of those things (sorry they're happening all at once.) ON the bright side, it also sounds like you are self-aware; that's the kind of person I would think could handle this the best. Like Andrew says, keep breathing :)

Abby Reed said...

Man, I feel like that every day of my life! ha ha.

It'll be here soon enough and you'll finally be able to relax. Until then, lose all the sanity you want! You deserve it!

Mary Ellen said...

Leave it to you, Andrew, to not only make me laugh when I am determined to be grouchy, but also to totally upstage me by being WAY funnier than I am. And to plug your book at the same time.

Notice the split infinitives and incomplete sentences? See what I've become????

Blogging Under the Influence said...

Roll with the punches - feel anxious when you need to, lonely when you need to, social when you need to... you get the picutre.

Hang in there! We're all waiting to hear how it goes.

Becca said...

are you taking someone with you on Friday? you may be too distracted to drive, you may need a hug or a shoulder...

Shellie said...

Oh, hang in there. Maybe you could use that nervous energy to spring clean in the winter? Or do your taxes early? Or NOT. And take a barf bag on Friday. Just in case :).

katy said...

Sounds like Andrew Scott Turners advice was perfect....but I have one question....IS THERE REALLY A DUNKIN DONUTS in wal mart where you live? We only get Subway or McDonalds.
I know telling you to relax is useless, I know this is exciting and scary at the same time. We will all be here with you.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

i so know what you are feeling... call me if you need to... hallie has my number get it ... use it... I am a good listener and if that does not work you can laugh at my southern accent... hell everyone else does!

kim-d said...

Okay, you just described me to a "T" for the past several days--only I don't have any reason at all! Oh, we would be quite the duo right now. Maybe I'm nervous for YOU??? BWA!

I have no words of wisdom, but I am here--every step of the way. I may be ornery and emotional and out-of-sorts, but I'm here. I guess we'll both just have no choice but to shower Hallie with gifts and attention. Or...!!! To heck with Hallie, and let's SHOWER EACH OTHER WITH GIFTS AND ATTENTION, and ask Hallie to do the same for us! BWAHAHAHAHA!

You notice that NOW she wants and "everyday" PRADA?

justlori2day said...

I have some good recommendations for wine - or tequila - which ever will get you through it with the least amount of pain!

I would lavish you with gifts, but I just paid a crap load of medical bills (ok, I made payments on a crap load of medical bills) so I have nothing to buy lavish with!

Sorry...

jojo said...

I think you ought to add a little chocolate to the mix...really can it make things any worse??? Think about it...
thinking of you ..;)

Reddirt Woman said...

How about hot chocolate laced with tranquilizers... or booze... or just chocolate. Kick up those good endorphins. Immerse yourself in the stupidity of marathon blog-reading of blogs you've never heard of and hope never to ever read again. Or follow Andrew's advice... to a T.

OR

Pick your toes

or pick your nose

Bend your knees

Or scratch your fleas.

Ease your pain

eat 'til you gain.

Scream and yell

Rant all to hell.

But don't forget

your e-friends here yet

To support your walk

with lots of talk...

of encouragement.


Helen

Vegas Princess said...

Deep breath. You have a lot going on now. The holidays alone are enough to make people crazy, let alone all this extra emotional upheaval you are experiencing. Take a bath, get a massage, do something fun and try not to think about the end of the week. take each day, one at a time and try to relax. I know easier said than done. :)

MaBunny said...

I too had to giggle at Andrews suggestions.
I suggest you try chocolate and liquor together....sort of a hot chocolate toddy:)