Monday, January 26, 2009

Gilligan's Island, Maine-Style

I had every intention of rejoining the blogging community this morning, with photos and tales from our exciting weekend.

Enter Fate. Plans? Out the window.

I had a quick no-more-than-one-hour errand to run at 10 this morning. All I had to do was drive about 4 miles from my house, complete my appointment, and drive home to blog away. Sounds simple, doesn't it?

And yet - NOT SO SIMPLE.

When I left my house to go get in my car and go, I noticed that one of my tires was a tad low on air. The tire that was still under warranty. The tire that was just repaired LAST TUESDAY, when they told me it was all fixed. No problem. I'll just stop and put some air in it on my way to my appointment, I thought quietly to myself. Except that the air pump at the only station between my house and my appointment was OUT OF ORDER.

No reason to panic. I'll go to my appointment, and get some air afterward, I thought, still quietly to myself.

After my appointment, I came out to my car and checked the tire. Flat. Really REALLY flat. Well, it was flat on the bottom, which I figure is the most important place for it not to be flat. Okay, I thought, still pretty quietly to myself, let's check the spare. I found a spare (one of those donut tires) but no lug nut wrench and no jack. My thoughts were now getting a little bit louder and there were some cuss words thrown in.

I called AAA (that was the best thing I ever spent money on, let me tell you) and they said they'd have someone there in less than an hour. Did I mention that it was 16 degrees outside? And that I had less than 1/8 of a tank of gas?

An hour and a half later, the tow truck guys show up, check out my tire (it's flat. imagine!) and my donut tire (never been used, will be fine!) They put the donut on and go away to another call in another town about 30 minutes away.

After they left, I start out on my way to the place that fixed my tire last week, planning to give them a piece of my mind and insist they REPLACE, rather than repair, my tire. I drive about one mile, and I hear a noise that I don't like. At all. A BAD BAD noise in the area of my pretend donut tire. I stop - there was no place to pull over - this is rural Maine, and we've had 3 feet of snow. We have road and we have snowbanks. No breakdown lanes, no pull-off areas.

The donut is flat. THE DONUT TIRE IS FREAKING FLAT and it has separated from the rim. I can put my whole hand between the rim and the tire. Okay, now I'm mad. It's cold. I'm hungry and thirsty and I have already spent too much time sitting in my car. My Ipod battery is dead, I have nothing to read and people are staring at me as they drive by. I hate that.

I call AAA back. I may have gotten a little tiny bit hysterical with the guy who answered the phone. He puts me on hold (I bet it says in the AAA manual: Put hysterical women on hold for a while to see if they calm down) and calls the tow truck guys back. They're way far away, and have to rescue someone else before they can come back and help me. The AAA guy calls me sweetie and says, don't worry, they'll be back within about 40 minutes and things will get better.

An hour and a half later, the tow truck guys come back. They seem happy to see me. The little one says, I guess the answer to your earlier question (will this donut thing get me to the tire place?) should have been no. I chuckle in the gotta-laugh-or-I'll-cry kind of way. Actually, I did cry a little bit right before they showed up, but I pulled it together for my tow truck buddies.

They suggested that they tow me to the tire place, and I refrained from saying WHAT THE EFF ELSE CAN WE DO ANYWAY?????

At the tire place, they said, gee, we're sorry, we'll get it taken care of right away, and it will be about 30 minutes or less.

Two hours later, my tire is REPLACED. BRAND NEW. AT NO CHARGE. They are really supposed to pro-rate the tire in this situation, subtracting for mileage on the tire, and making me pay for the portion that was already used up, but they didn't. Their generosity may have had something to do with my red-rimmed eyes, my hunger-induced shaking hands, or the way that I stared at them for the TWO FREAKING HOURS it took them to change ONE FREAKING TIRE.

Seven hours later, I'm back at home, curled in a fetal position, wondering how my one hour errand turned into an all-day ordeal. I'll try to get to the weekend update tomorrow morning, but tonight I'm going to get into my jammies and try to forget that today ever happened. Hope your day was a lot better. I'm going to spend the evening catching up on all I've missed out in the blogosphere.

28 comments:

Joanie said...

There's only one thing to salvage today. Wine. Lots of wine. Or tequila.

Becca said...

OH DEAR GOD. you were not supposed to be home for some reason today...

jojo said...

awww hell...I can't beat that ;)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

But tomorrow night you are coming to hang out with me!! At least you have that to look forward to.

Lucky you!!

Hallie :)

Under the Influence said...

Well, at least you kept yourself busy, huh? That just sucks.

Lynn said...

Oh, just reading that gave me the hysterics...I detest having any kind of car trouble ! Thank goodness you had good AAA coverage LOL !

claudia said...

I love AAA!
Aww honey, I am so sorry that your day sucked bug rotten eggs.
Two hours to change one tire??? Did they have to manufacture that tire before they put it on your car?
Crap! Chocolate lots of chocolate will help.
Tomorrow will be so much better!!!

claudia said...

And that was supposed to be big not bug

Robin said...

what a horrible day. it sounds like something that would happen to me, so i can sympathize.

but, you write really well and it made for a good story.

me, i probably would've used that lug wrench on a couple of tow truck men.

Sue said...

Bummer. I hope you could drink wine out of a straw while in your fetal position.

Debbie said...

Sounds like a not so fun day!! Glad that you had AAA. Hope tomorrow is better!!!!

God Bless~
Debbie

Abby Reed said...

I must be a sadist, because I giggled through this whole thing... not because I enjoyed your horrible day, but because of the way you write and describe things. You remind me so much of myself, it's scary.

Much love, hope tonight was enjoyable in the jammies!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

Horrid day... wonderful writing.... SOMEDAY... ONEDAY... One warm day in the future... ok very distant future you WILL look back on this and LAUGH... I Swear you will.
IN the mean time it has been hours since you posted and I am just getting the puter up and on and I hope its all better now.
HUGS Laura

Dave King said...

Somehow it all rings true to expectation, all sticking to some demonic rule book - but beautifully told.

My Metabolic Rate is Stuck said...

I'm SORRY you had such a bad day...but because of it...You made every one else smile! We are all truly sorry...and YES you will look back some day and smile too!

Andrew Scott Turner said...

Mary.

Effing.

Ellen.

THIS IS WHEN YOU CALL ME!!!

You live, like, 15 minutes away. your appointment must have been, where, L/A? that's, again, 15 minutes away.

I could have come and, you know, sworn with you and pointed at the tire and cursed some more.

(What, you thought I'd be able to help with a tire? Have you read about my luck with vehicles?)

Seriously, though. Call. I got my dad's truck. It's got four good tires AND it's got heat. It's like, you know, a real honest-to-God vehicle.

kimmy said...

That does not sound fun at all. Of course, I would be at their mercy because I do not know the first thing about how to change a tire!

Kimmy

TattingChic said...

Well, so sorry to hear of that horrible tire ordeal and thank heavens it was all taken care of by the end.

Thanks for stopping by my blog to enter the tatting giveaway for OWOH. You weren't late at all! The giveaway has until Feb 11th to sign up so there is still PLENTY of time! You're good with that!

Alice said...

I had a day almost exactly like this. Mine involved a lot of profanity. I hope today is better. :)

Shellie said...

Now THAT was a horrorific day. Glad it's over!

MaBunny said...

Oh hun, I'm glad you made it back safely, albeit 6 hrs later!

American in Norway said...

Oh I am total CRY BABY... I like to cry in front of people so they feel bad too... (I would have cried in front of the AAA guys & the tire guys....) I hate days like that! Hope you are thawed & recovered!

gin said...

awww, why do we have days like that anyway? I would have probably blamed it all on my husband, that he either wasn't home when I needed him, or that he should have been on top of the tire situation!!

Odette said...

Arg that sounds like one shit-tastic day! I'm glad that you got home okay and are able to decompress! Take care of yourself! xoxoxo

Reddirt Woman said...

I've been a member of AAA since 1969. It's true. And the last 20 years I've even paid for the extended coverage, you know the one where they will tow you up to 100 miles. And I swear to you they've lost money on me... but they keep on taking care of me and my vehicular insanities. The last time, about a month ago, I even pulled out the "teary old woman" routine. The time before that about a month and a half ago on my trip I ran out of gas pulling a pick/up on a trailer behind a moving truck. Tears for the Nevada HP, he gave me AAA local number and let me use his phone to call because I couldn't get a signal on my cell. It's a loooonnng story. I can identify with you and your day in a big way.

But I'm testifying AAA is totally worth it.

Helen

Tonjia said...

Apparently in Maine, time is measured at a different rate as time every where else?? ;-) (less than 40 minutes = 2 hours??????)

I am glad that you got home safely and that they replaced the tire, wow what a day!

katy said...

Yikes! You deserve something really good to drink.
Is it just me or are all you bloggy buddies trying to get you drunk?

Vegas Princess said...

Any time I have had a tire issue my day has gone something like yours. It is never an easy fix. I am so sorry you had to deal with all that but at least you got home safe. Allbeit really late.